FCN Session 7: Better Conversations with Our Children

ibrahimdawood
2 minutes ago
4 min read

On 25 August 2026, 12 fathers came together at The Foundry for Fathering Community Network 2026 – Session 7, a Learning Journey focused on one of the most important parts of fatherhood: how we communicate with our children.

Facilitated by Brother Farid Jaaffar, the session introduced fathers to the LISTEN framework, a practical approach adapted from Motivational Interviewing principles for everyday conversations at home.

The emphasis was not on turning fathers into counsellors. Rather, it was about helping fathers communicate in a way that creates safety, encourages openness and allows children to think through their own choices.

Building on the FCN Journey

Session 7 did not stand on its own. It continued the learning journey that fathers had been building over the previous FCN sessions.

In Session 3 – Understanding Your Child, fathers explored the importance of recognising their children’s developmental needs, experiences and perspectives.

In Session 4 – Connecting Before Correcting, the focus shifted to the relationship itself—reminding fathers that correction is often more effective when there is first a sense of connection, safety and trust.

In Session 6 – Raising Children Who Make Wise Choices, fathers reflected on the values they hope their children will carry into adulthood and how those values are shaped not only by what fathers say, but by what they consistently model.

Session 7 naturally built on all of these.

If we want to understand our children, connect with them, communicate meaningfully and influence the values they carry, then fathers also need practical tools to help children think through challenges and make their own decisions.

This is where the LISTEN framework came in.

Less Telling, More Listening

As fathers, it can be natural for us to move quickly into advice-giving or problem-solving.

When our children share a difficulty, our instinct may be to tell them what they should do, correct their thinking or provide a solution.

During the session, fathers were invited to consider a different approach.

Sometimes, the more helpful response is to first listen, understand and stay curious.

The LISTEN framework encouraged fathers to create conversations where children feel heard rather than judged, and supported rather than pressured.

The LISTEN Framework

Brother Farid guided the fathers through six simple principles:

L – Lead with Safety: Create an environment where the child feels emotionally and psychologically safe enough to talk.

I – Inquire with Curiosity: Ask questions to understand rather than to interrogate, correct or fix.

S – Support through Empathy: Listen for the feelings and experiences behind the words and respond with understanding.

T – Tune in to Values and Beliefs: Pay attention to what matters to the child and the beliefs influencing his or her decisions.

E – Emphasise Strengths and Autonomy: Recognise the child’s strengths and ability to make choices rather than taking over the decision.

N – Navigate Gently Towards Resources: Help the child consider possibilities and identify a next step without rushing to impose a solution.

The session reinforced a simple but important idea:

Good communication is not only about what fathers say. It is also about how well we listen.

Practising Real Conversations

The session was designed to be practical.

Fathers explored how the LISTEN approach could be used in everyday situations—especially when children are facing challenges, making difficult choices or simply needing someone to hear them.

Instead of immediately saying:

"This is what you should do…"

a father might first ask:

"What do you think is happening?"

"How are you feeling about it?"

"What options do you think you have?"

"What do you think might be your next step?"

These small changes can transform a conversation from one of instruction into one of connection.

They also communicate something important to our children:

"I trust that you can think. I am here to support you."

From Understanding to Influence

Looking back, the progression across Sessions 3 to 7 has been deliberate:

Session 3: Understand your child.
Session 4: Connect before correcting.
Session 5: Create conversations that encourage children to open up.
Session 6: Reflect on the values and character we hope to shape.
Session 7: Learn how to listen, guide and support children as they work through their own decisions.

Together, these sessions are helping fathers move from simply wanting to be more involved to becoming more intentional in how they relate to, communicate with and influence their children.

Learning Together as Fathers

One of the strengths of the Fathering Community Network continues to be the opportunity for fathers to learn alongside other fathers.

The 12 fathers who attended Session 7 were able to reflect, practise and explore how these communication principles could apply within their own families.

The session was engaging and highly practical, giving participants tools that could be applied immediately after leaving the room.

We are grateful to Brother Farid Jaaffar for facilitating the Learning Journey and for helping the fathers find their way through the LISTEN framework in a practical and relatable manner.

The Journey Continues

Fathering is not about having all the answers.

Sometimes our children need our advice.

Sometimes they need our guidance.

But sometimes, they simply need a father who is willing to sit beside them, listen carefully and help them discover their own way forward.

That may be one of the greatest gifts we can give our children—the confidence to know that their father is a safe person to talk to.

At BapaHebatSG, the Fathering Community Network continues to create opportunities for fathers to learn, share, reflect and grow together.

Because better understanding can lead to better connection.Better connection can lead to better conversations.Better conversations can help shape wiser choices.

Real Fathers. Real Journeys. Real Love.